Girl Scout Cookies: March Madness Round 1

Girl Scout Cookie season is coming to a close so I thought I would take a few minutes over my lunch break to definitively rank these cookies. Below this post, you will have the opportunity to participate in a Girl Scout Cookie March Madness voting to determine the best cookie. Let’s get started:

8: Girl Scout S’mores™ 
Specialty Cookie–$5.00
Crunchy graham sandwich cookies with creamy chocolate and marshmallowy filling.

This newcomer to the field gets ranked 8 solely because of its newness. Sorry s’mores. You gotta prove you have staying power before I let you unseat one of these others. Good luck in the first round

7: Toffee-tastic™
Specialty Cookie –$5.00
Indulgently rich, buttery cookies with sweet, crunchy golden toffee bits. A gluten-free variety offered only in select markets for as long as supplies last.

This “specialty cookie” comes in arrogant and gluten free. It is ranked 7th because it is only in select markets and because toffee is the candy you eat when you get to the candy dish last.

6: Savannah Smiles®
$4.00 
a box
Crisp, zesty lemon wedge cookies dusted with powdered sugar.

I am actually a huge fan of lemon cookies but good ole’ SS has earned its spot for one simple reason: Girl Scout cookies are meant to be consumed by the box in one evening. Powdered sugar and dryness make that impossible. Also, powdered sugar is the glitter of desserts.

5: Trefoils®
$4.00
 a box
Delicate-tasting shortbread that is delightfully simple and satisfying.

The Girl Scout take on a classic. Who doesn’t love having a shortbread cookie with some delicious cold milk? I will tell you who doesn’t: Communists. However, the shortbread lacks any distinct character that separates it from other delicious shortbread cookies. It is easily imitated so it ends up in the middle of the field.

 

4: Do-si-dos®
$4.00 
a box
Crunchy oatmeal sandwich cookie with creamy peanut butter filling.

I insulted these cookies earlier in the week. Now that I see where they rank in the world of GSCs, I feel bad. These are solid cookies. They are delicious. They have peanut butter. They are a sandwich cookie. However, they are undisputedly what you buy when you cant buy tagalongs. They give you the same feeling you get when you ask for Cherry Pepsi but are informed they have Dr. Pepper. Still good, but not why I am here.

3: Samoas®
$4.00 
a box
Crisp cookies, coated in caramel, sprinkled with toasted coconut, and striped with dark chocolaty coating.

People like these. I find them sticky and I am not a huge fan of the fact that caramel stays in your mouth like a fugitive ducking the law, but people like them. They are the cookie you hear about almost as much as our top 2. This ranking proves that I am objective and ought to be trusted.

2: Tagalongs®
$4.00 
a box
Crispy cookies layered with peanut butter and covered with a chocolaty coating.

My personal favorite. I ate a box last night. However, the allergy component of peanut butter has to come to the front somewhere. Thus, we put these delicious morsels at #2

1: Thin Mints®
$4.00 
a box
Crisp wafers covered in chocolaty coating. Made with natural oil of peppermint.

Where you ever wondering what would be #1? No, you knew it would be thin mints. Often imitated, never duplicated. These things are the New England Patriots* of Girl Scout Cookies. The only difference is they don’t have to steal all the good parts from other cookies using questionable methods. They simply stand on their own merit.

I will be posting polls for the brackets now. First round will be as follows.

1: Thin Mints® vs 8: Girl Scout S’mores™ 

2: Tagalongs® vs 7: Toffee-tastic™

3: Samoas® vs 6: Savannah Smiles®

4: Do-si-dos® vs 5: Trefoils®

 

Voting Ends at Midnight.

Let the Madness begin.

 

 

 

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